


Wherever You Will Go

by seasaltmemories



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 02:07:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 13,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5146352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasaltmemories/pseuds/seasaltmemories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of oneshots for Rivetra week 2014, Spring 2015, and Fall 2015</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Survive

Levi knew this day would come. It's fitting that the sea, his source of life, be the cause of his death.

Drowning is nothing like he expected. He's an adequate swimmer but the current pushes and pulls him till he can't tell what's up or down. His muscles ache and his vision starts to dim. Soon Levi can't think about the situation at all. All he knows is his burning lungs and the water's icy embrace.

Suddenly sweet, sweet oxygen is breathed into him. Without thinking Levi grips his savior with ferocity. He starts to relax and opens his eyes again.

The sight he sees nearly gives him a heart attack. It's Petra Ral, his navigator from 2 years ago. She was smart, gorgeous, and could go from saint to demon in 1.5 seconds. They had been lovers, why she put up with an asshole like him he'll never know. But she had drowned with the rest of his crew, at least he thought so.

"Petra?" He whispers and surprisingly his voice is clear despite being underwater.

"Yes it's me Levi," He spots a golden fish tail where her legs should be. "Now listen carefully, they still need you out there I'm-"

"I saw you die, what the fuck happened?" Levi interrupts her, too shocked to care.

"It's complicated-" Petra sighs, her copper hair now long and a swirling mass. "-the world is so much bigger than we could ever imagine. Somehow, Auruo, Erd, Gunther, and I are alive! But that's not important, what's important is your life."

At the moment, Levi's life seems not that significant. He's found his squad, his family, why should he go back when his loved ones are here?

"Levi?" God she's the reason why he doesn't want to go back. All he wanted was a life with her, and now he has that chance! Even if he had to cut off his own legs and grow a tail, he'd happily do it to be with Petra again.

"Levi listen to me." He turns and sees hazel eyes blazing as fiercely as he remembers. "I know it's tempting, why go back to the surface if all that awaits is death and destruction?" He opens his mouth to ask how she knew, but he's cut off. "Regardless for me please," Lightly she presses her lips to his forehead. "Survive."

Water rushes around him and soon he can feel hand anymore. Frantically, he tries to reach her, but Petra's nowhere to be found. But he has no time to despair for a strong hand pulls him out of the water.

Mike lifts him into the row boat where survivors crowd around him. Levi doesn't respond, all he does is try to breath again and wonders why his cheeks are wet, though the rest of him's dry.

 


	2. Remembrance

Some nights he thinks of her, the soldier that ran away all those years ago. Petra Ral, 5'2", killed 52 titans, and stole his heart. She was brilliant, he hadn't realized how brilliant though til he lost her.

Sometimes he dreams of her. Of the last time he saw her, all those years ago. They had been arguing, about what he forgets now. She was pissed as hell and stormed out in a huff afterwards. Levi thought he'd see her the next morning, but she was nowhere to be found.

Sometimes he thinks he should have been less stubborn, more gentle, and a million other things. She loved him and he pushed her away. Though in those long nights, sometimes he realizes it was best she left. His entire squad was wiped out on the 57th expedition, but because of that argument she survived. Besides now the wings of freedom won't burden her like him and the others with the fate of humanity. She's the one who's really free.

Sometimes he worries he forgot what she looked like. The faint freckles that came out in the summer, the curve of her lip when she smiled at him. On bad nights he forgets her name. Panic overruns his mind til it comes back to him. Petra Ral, Petra Ral, Petra Ral. He mutters it like a chant, a prayer. Her memory is one of the only good things he has left in his life.

Sometimes he wonders if she's still alive. For a minute he's a fool and imagines finding her and apologizing till she came back to him. How stupid could he get? Shit like that only worked in fairytales. Knowing her, she probably found a nice boy and started a family. It's for the best he supposes. She should be happy.

But most nights, he imagines what life could have been like if he had ran as well. He imagines bells and white dresses, of her with a round belly. The Survey Corps own him but he wonders what life would be like if he was a normal person. Would he be content with a simple life? It does not matter in the end, he already made his choice, there's no room for regrets. So he remembers her, for that's the closest he can get to the happiness he's never had.


	3. Letters

Dear Petra,

I'm a coward. I'm a fool. I'm a coward and a fool for falling for you. All these years you've stayed by my side, every step of the way. I was an idiot and began to adore your smile, the way your hair's a beautiful mess.

It's only once I thought of a world without a Petra that I noticed I loved you. For a world without you is like a world without flowers, barely tolerable and extremely lacking in beauty. Somehow I'll survive without you if it has to come to that, but the world will be so much duller.

You are my confident, the person who willingly deals with my bullshit. You call me out when I fuck up but still love me the same. It's you I want to spend the rest of my life with. To hear you laugh every day, to wake up next to every morning.

And sometimes it scares me how much I care for you. How I'd literally do anything for you. Not just climb mountains or create beautiful works, but destroy everything in my path, or fight against Humanity itself, just to see you never cry again. I try to leave the past behind me, but for you I'd become the very monsters I'm fighting.

As I said before though, I'm a coward. You'll never see these words I'm writing. For I know you'll never love me. You already have a beautiful girlfriend back home. So I'll relish our little moments together. As long as I get to see that bright copper hair and hear your adorable laugh I'm content. I know I'll never get to kiss you, or run my fingers through your hair, but it's my fault for falling in love with you in the first place. I had said I was a fool earlier.

So please just stay with me. I know you'll never love me, but I'll survive. All my life I've had to learn how to survive without the things I want. The only difference is I need your presence, not your love. So please just swear I'll get to see that bright smile everyday.

-L


	4. Fate

"What makes you think you can be the hero?" It's two in the morning, Petra's pretty sure she's broken her leg and Levi's on his deathbed.

"Everyone knows your brother was chosen by the Triforce," Levi pauses to cough a bit of blood up. "No one else has been able to save the world. Everyone but him is doomed to fail."

"Well what am I supposed to do?" Petra tries to keep her voice steady. "Link is dead, do you want me to just sit by and let those monsters kill more innocents?!"

"I guess I don't have much of an opinion." He gives a rueful laugh. "I'm a dead man. But even still I'm a realist: we're fucked without your brother."

It had been a normal day. Petra can still see how Link beamed when he was given Epona for his birthday. But then those creatures had shown up. They were unlike anything she had ever seen before, shooting lights more deadly than fire. She had managed to get Link and Levi to safety. But that idiot had went back to try to save a little girl. She died, right before Link's eyes, and he was quick to follow. How ironic the person who held the Triforce of Courage would fall because of their bravery.

"I don't care Levi, I can't let them win. There's something big coming, and something very evil is behind it. Don't you see, I can't just stand by!"

Levi sighs, "Even if you attempted to take his place, the other Triforce wielders won't accept you, the public won't accept you, no one will."

"Then they can't know Link's dead!" Petra exclaims, blood rushing through her veins. "I'll disguise myself as him, and then save Hyrule!"

Levi laughs again. "Well, I know at this point there's no use arguing. You're the most stubborn person I've ever met. I just never thought my pretty Petra would be saving the world…"

"Levi-" Petra whispers as she pushes back his raven locks. He's a jackass, but he's her jackass. For years they had been lovers. They had even planned for marriage. That's all she had really wanted. A simple life with him.

She's brought out of her thoughts at the sight of Levi coughing more blood. "Go on without me, I don't have much time left."

Tears burn in the corner of her eyes, but this is not a time for tears. Gently, she pecks a kiss on his lips, afraid if it was any longer she'd taste the blood on it.

"I love you, L."

"I love you too, Petra. Go kick some monster ass."

Petra can't take anymore. She turns and runs as her village burns. There's not time for mourning, not for her parents, for Link, nor for Levi. Maybe once she's broken Fate and has made it her personal bitch, can she remember the dead. For now, she's the wielder of the Triforce of Courage and she's ready to save this world.

 


	5. Demons

Petra didn't know how long she's seen them. Ever since she was a baby, demons had haunted her. Big ones, little ones, cute ones, scary ones, didn't matter, they seem to flock to her.

Her parents didn't believe her, kids called her crazy, and doctors whispered of mental disorders. After a while she learned to keep her mouth shut and pretend to be normal. Even if one was hanging off her neck, she learned to act like it just wasn't there.

She got so good at it, soon she couldn't tell what was demonic or not.

"What's a pretty, young thing like you hanging around with that?" A deep voice brought her out of her book. It's only then she noticed the hellhound she had been mindlessly petting and the man standing before her.

"You can see them too!" Petra gestured to the various flower sprites floating around the park, shocked to have someone else acknowledge their existence. The man just smirked, and once she sees his teeth she realized how wrong she was.

"Oh, that makes sense. But I've never seen one so human-like, as you." Except for the sharp fangs, he'd blend perfectly in a crowd, raven hair framing fierce silver eyes

"How could this tiny girl be the one I sensed?" The demon had ignored all Petra said and walked up to her, examining every inch of her. "There's no fucking way." He mutters to himself.

Now Petra was used to being ignored, but there was no way in hell she was gonna take this shit from this weird demon. In a fluid motion she shut her book and slammed it down on his head.

"The fuck!" He growled, eyes burning with fury. Petra just smiled and replied,

"It's not nice to ignore people, if you have any questions just direct them to me."

"You do know I could kill you before you even realized I had moved?"

"Yes, but I've dealt with much worse than you, so get off your high horse, Shorty." She laced her words in sickening sweetness. The demon grumbled something she couldn't hear, but Petra was sure it wasn't nice compliments about her.

"Don't call me Shorty-"

"-then you tell me your name and explain yourself."

The demon grumbled some more before he sighed, "Call me Captain." Petra beamed at him in pride.

"There we go! Now continue."

"Look Girly, I sensed a powerful demon tamer but all I found was your scrawny ass." The demon spat the words out in disdain.

Petra giggled. "My name is Petra, please use it. Now why did you need this demon tamer?" Captain rolled his eyes at her question and Petra couldn't help but laugh some more.

"I don't give a shit why, Girly. Commander told me to find one, so I looked for one. Obviously I screwed up." He tried to exit dramatically by teleporting away, but Petra grabbed his hand before he faded away. Soon, she found she wasn't in the park anymore.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!" Captain roared at her. For a second, Petra was frightened, but she knew she had to mask any fear.

"What the fuck were you thinking?! I want answers and you're gonna give them to me!" Suddenly Petra heard a cry in the distance that sent shivers down her spine.

"Looks like you'll get them after we deal with this guy. Let's hope you really are a demon tamer, for your sake." Captain gave a wicked grin before pointing to something behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this and want to follow up the rest of Petra's adventures, check out my other Flower of Fire!


	6. Heaven and Hell

Sometimes he thinks she's an angel, other times, he swears she'll ruin him. She's so fucking beautiful, Levi can't help but think that as she descends down the stairs. Usually he hates Sina balls, but seeing her in a jade, form-fitting dress, that makes it worth having to breath the same air as these dumbasses.

He doesn't approach her, he's a coward and he knows it, til the music dies down, and half the crowd is tipsy.

"Petra," He finds her conversing with some noble.

"Captain," She takes in his fine clothing before abandoning the noble for him. Without thinking she slips her arms around his neck and he plants his hands on her waist. Slowly, they dance til they're hidden in the corner by shadows

"How do I look?" She whispers, barely audible.

"I think that dress would look better on my bedroom floor," Her laugh sends shivers down his spine that he knows she adores.

"Why should we wait?" Her hands move to play with his black locks, teasing him. Levi lets out a content sigh as he feels the curves along her body. Before he can react, Petra captures his lips, working him in ways only she knows best. She knows he can't utter a sound, and she must gets a sick satisfaction out of it. Just as soon as he is ready to lead this dance, she leans back taunting him. He groans in frustration, but that just causes her to give another seductive laugh.

"I'm so sorry, Captain-" She draws out those syllables in a sultry voice. "I have to go. Levi moves to grab her wrist, but she is back in the light in a flash, wearing a smile that's so sweet and innocent.

"Fuck Petra," He mutters to himself. That women can bring him up to heaven, and in the next second, drag him through hell.


	7. Flowers

"This is so stupid," Levi muttered to himself. He didn't understand what had compelled him to pick some flowers and give them to a member of his squad, but here he was standing in front of Petra's door.

To be honest, he had had a crush on her for some time now, despite how inappropriate it was for a superior to think like that about his soldier. Like most things, he had tried working through it and ignoring it, but that damn woman made it hard. Levi was sure she thought it was a game or something. Still, no matter how much his brain tried to get him to move, his feet wouldn't cooperate.

"Shit," He said for the thousandth time. Oh well, he might as well try to come up with an explanation for why he was here.

"Do you have an eraser? Because I can't get you out of my mind." No.

"I hurt myself training, can you kiss me to make it all better?" What the fuck?

"What do you and the weather have in common? You're both hot." Ew.

"Ral, I think I need to practice my CPR, could you help me with mouth-to-mouth?" Never, just never.

Just as Levi was about to try another line, the door opened to reveal Petra, clothed only in a towel.

"Sorry I took so long, I was in the shower. What is it?" Every word Levi had prepared in his head was gone. Instead all he could think about was keeping his gaze directed at her face. Not at how short the towel was, not at how water droplets travel down her face to the top of her creamy-nope definitely not that.

"Uh, I found this flowers Ral," No shit Sherlock. "And they kinda reminded me of you, because you're pretty, like them." Levi hoped the blush wasn't evident on his face. "And yeah."

Petra giggled before taking the flowers. "Thank you, Captain." He just nodded stiffly, wondering if it was possible to avoid her for the rest of his life.

He was only brought down to earth when Petra planted a kiss on his cheek. Levi's eyes shot open.

"Gotta go, have to take a shit." He retreated before he could embarrass himself even more.


	8. Dream

For a second, he almost believes he isn't dreaming. It's a normal morning, he's sitting at the table, finishing some paperwork, and she's making coffee. Only once he notices the gaping wound in her back does Levi understand that none of this is real.

"What do you want?" He barks out to Petra. She looks up, confusion filling those large hazel eyes.

"What do you mean Captain? I was just making some coffee." She joins him at the table.

Of course this happens. Even his subconscious can't stand him. "Why do you do this to me? It's been years. Why can't the dead stay dead, instead of fucking up my life?!" Petra cringes and he understands why. For years he's tried holding it all in, and now he's breaking. He can't stand it anymore though. The dying, the bleeding, the screaming. He can't take always being the sole survivor.

"It's been tough without the squad, hasn't it?"

"After you guys died, Hell got even worse, if it was possible."

"I know…" She lays her hand on his. "You know we've been looking out for you. Hanji, Erwin, Eren, all of you." She squeezes his hand before continuing. "You don't have to be strong anymore, we're all here for you."

Levi remembers all the times she'd say that. While delivering coffee in the middle of the night, after sobbing from another failed expedition, between soft kisses and hard fucks. We're here for you, I'm here for you. Though she was one of the strongest people he knew, her real power came from her emotional strength.

So he lets the dam burst, he collapses into her as tears roll down his face. He feels Petra rub circles into his back and she litters his forehead with kisses.

"There, there," She murmurs into his ear. "That's good let it all out."

"I don't know why I'm doing this." He pulls back, trying to recover the mask he always wore. "But then again maybe because none of this shit is real."

Petra cocks her head to the side and a copper hair falls out of place. "What do you mean?" Without thinking, he moves to tuck the strand behind her ear.

"You're dead. The only way we could talk is if it was a dream." But as soon as those words were out his mouth, he noticed something. In all his dreams of Petra, and he had many after that expedition, he's never felt a thing. But he'll be damned if he didn't feel it when he tucked that strand back in place.

Petra smiles, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. Slowly she unbuttons his shirt and pulls it back to revel a giant scar over where his heart should be.

"Levi, it's not a dream,"

 


	9. AU

No one pays any attention to her. She's a sweetheart, the kind of person who reminds you of a mother hen, but easily forgettable in a sea of faces.

She just seems to drift through life. Wakes up at 7, goes to work in the coffee shop at 9, comes home at 5, and goes to bed at 10. It's a simple life, but people wonder if there's something wrong with her. How could a nice girl like that have no friends or family to speak of? But then she comes in the shop and flashes a smile, and everyone relaxes. She's perfectly normal, though her name only exists on the tip of everyone's tongue.

One summer day, she comes in the shop bubbling with enthusiasm. People ask if she has a date, but she denies it. However, no one can ignore the way she smiles to herself, that woman's in love. The day draws to a close, and she makes her way home, exactly the same way she does everyday. When she enters the apartment though, she finds him lounging on the couch.

"Levi!" The man gets up, popping the joints in his neck.

"Shit, what took you so long?" Despite the harshness of his words, his touch is soft. He wraps his arms around her, afraid she'll disappear any moment. Though no words are exchanged, both know what the other thinks.

_I missed you, I thought I'd never see you again, I was counting down the days, please don't ever leave me ever again._

The two collapse on the couch, dying to catch up after the long months.

"How's everyone doing?"

"The war hasn't ended, but everyone's alive. Erwin's busy as ever, Hanji's researching more about inter-dimension travel, Erd and Gunther became leaders of their own squad, and Auruo is being Auruo."

"What about my father?" Levi looks away. Alphonse Ral thinks his daughter, Petra Ral, died three years ago. He think that his rock, the only thing that kept him sane is gone forever, so he drinks away the days, hoping to dull the pain. Knowing his son-in-law was the one in charge of the mission where she disappeared, he ignores all Levi says. So he only does what he can to help the man get by. He probably wouldn't even believe him if he told the truth.

"He's doing fine as well," Petra lets out a sigh of relief and rambles about her life, the new worker at the shop and his crush on a female customer with the red scarf, her boss who doesn't even try to remember her name, and the cute lesbian couple that comes every Tuesday. She leaves out the part of the aching loneliness, how she wishes she could see her friends and family again.

"How much longer do you got?" She always dreads this question, but it most be asked.

"About a minute or two," And Petra wants to cry at the unfairness, but she knows she must be strong. If she cries now, so will Levi, and she couldn't bear to see that. So, she kisses him relentlessly, hoping somehow she can force him to stay. He's just as unyielding, hoping the clock could just slow down. He kisses her lips, her nose, her neck, anywhere, trying to make the most of the time left.

Soon, Petra realizes she can't feel him anymore.

"Don't worry," She gives a shaky grin. "There's a person here who's written books about our world, I'll find a way back."

Levi nods, but he knows she's lying, trying to provide some hope. He's slowly fading away.

"I'll come back on the next solstice. We'll bring you home, I promise. Don't forget I-" Petra can't hear him anymore, he's running out of magic. She holds his hand, though she can't feel it and says,

"I love you too, Levi. See you later." She watches him disappear before her eyes, as if he was never there.

Only once he's gone does she let the tears fall. She doesn't want this, those people who forget she exists once she's out of there sight. She wants to finally apologize to her father, she wants to goof off with Auruo, gossip with Erd, and practice magic with Gunther. She wants to go back to being a mage, listen to Hanji's lectures, and their new discoveries. Most of all, she wants to spend more than a few minutes with her husband every year.

Petra wiped her tears. She had been lying about the author, but she hadn't been lying about finding a way home. Somehow she would.


	10. Touch

Three days. It had been 3 fucking days. Three painful, long days since the Survey Corps were supposed to have returned. Of course no one mentioned this. No the nurses slowly tiptoed around the subject.

"How are you doing Miss Ral?"

"Lovely weather we're having-"

"How are things at home?" It was enough to drive her mad.

Petra let out a sigh. Usually when she was bored she would write home to Papa, but unfortunately ever since the news he had been a little distant. Subconsciously, her hand hovered over her round belly. Papa had been more supportive than she had thought he'd be when it got out she was pregnant. Still he worried over her even more than usual. It made writing him a pain. Her thoughts drift back to the date. 3 fucking days. What could be holding them up?

It's a few hours later when injured Survey Corps members are brought in, and she knows they've arrived. Quickly, she runs, looking for him. It's difficult being agile while carrying her unborn child, but Petra manages to weave through the crowd. From the sights she sees, they've lost a lot of men. Soldiers ride bathed in their own blood, while behind them a sea of drapes cover the fallen. Again, Petra hears the hiss of disapproval. Why should their money go to feeding the titans?

_"Please, let him be ok, please let him be ok"_ She silently prays. Despite being Humanity's Strongest, he's still a fragile, fallible human. All it takes is one mistake, one slip, and you're dead.

Finally, she spots Hanji, tired but still sitting tall. Ignoring all common sense she rushes to their side, and cuts to the chase.

"Hanji, where's Levi?" Immediately their facial features soften. She's seen that look more times than she can bear. To a grieving mom about how their son won't come home, to a copper-headed girl trying to explain Mommy isn't with them anymore.

"He's alive, Pet-" She lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "-but he's in pretty bad condition I pumped who knows how many drugs into him just to keep him alive, but he's breathing that's all that matters." Hanji gestures to a cart a few feet away, and Petra races over there.

Levi's lies still, if it wasn't for his slowly rising chest, she'd fear the worst. Blood stains his side and his right arm is in a cast. Still, Petra's just relieved he's in one piece.

"Petra?" He groans, eyelids fluttering slowly.

"I'm here, Levi," She gently pushes back his raven locks. His moves are sluggish, but he still reaches up to trace the side of her face.

"You smell nice...not like stinky Four-Eyes or Erwin...they're not half as pretty as you are," He mutters some more, but all she can get is something about her hair being made from sunsets.

"I'm just glad your home." She brings his hand down to her stomach. His eyes shot open as he tries to lift his mind out of the drugged haze.

"I didn't..I didn't miss it?"

"No," Petra can't help but smile at the way his eyes light up. "you didn't miss it,"


	11. Supposed To Be Enemies

Teaming up with an angel had never been part of the plan. The plan was to get Eren, Mom, and herself to safety, a pretty dream, but still a dream nevertheless. No, when Eren was kidnapped Petra knew her back was against the wall, and she'd need all the help she could get.

"Keep up, will you?" Levi growls, bringing her back out of her daze. He's the angel she's had to team up with and so far he's been a pain in the ass.

"Not everyone is built like you freaks are."

"But you should be able to keep with your elder. At your pace, you'll be dead by the time we reach San Francisco." Petra tries to think of a witty reply,

"Whatever," Afterwards, she tries to walk even slower just to piss him off.

It's about an hour later when they make out the former skyline of San Francisco.

"So, where do we find him?" She turns to ask Levi, but he's lost in his thoughts. For the first time, since being around him, he looks almost happy. This is his chance to finally get his wings back, and take his rightful place among his brothers. Now he really resembles the beautiful angels from the World Before. Perfectly chiseled features, body, and face framed by inky dark hair and a small smile.

"What?" His voice brings her back to reality. For a minute there, she forgot it was his kind who destroyed this earth. For a minute, she realized she might actually miss him when they split up. Immediately, she shoves those thoughts into a huge vault. He's the enemy, she can't forget that, no matter how human he looks.

"Where do we find Eren?" She repeats and she can't help notice for a millisecond, she thinks Levi forgets she's the enemy too.


	12. Horror Story

No, it wasn't supposed to be like this. That's all Levi can think as he witnesses this disaster. He had been too careless for leaving her in charge. Silently, Levi walks over to her.

"Petra," He tries not to show any mercy to the strawberry blonde despite his affection for her. "What the fuck is this?"

"With all due respect, Captain-" She spits the title out in disgust. "I did the best I could on my own and in such little time."

Levi sighs and runs a hand through his hair. It's taking all of his willpower to keep his voice level. "These are not up to my standard."

"Fuck the 'Ackerman Standard'" Alright she just mocked him, shit is gonna go down.

"I gave you one job, and you can't even bake a simple batch of cookies without them tasting like piss!" He gestures wildly to the trays scattered about his kitchen.

"They taste perfectly fine!"

"These cookies are hard as a rock!" Levi picks one up and waves it in her face for emphasis. "Ackerman cookies are supposed to melt in your mouth, not chip a tooth! I gave you the recipe, how could you fuck them up?"

Petra rolls her eyes. "For your information I followed them down to the letter, it said bake for 10-14 minutes, so I put the timer on 12 and then got my other work done."

Levi resists facepalming at such a stupid statement. "Damn it Petra, you're supposed to watch it while it bakes, that's the first rule of baking!"

"Excuse me for not knowing everything about baking. It's 3AM and I've been baking 100 cookies for you because you're such a dumbass you forgot your submission for the bake sale!" Petra's angry, tired, and probably wants to kill him by this point.

"I've been busy actually organizing and planning the debate tomorrow. You said you'd help and I was an idiot and trusted you. These are shit, you'll have to redo them."

If she was angry before, now Petra was pissed. "Fuck you, fuck your stupid haircut, and fuck your precious cookies, I'm done with dealing with your bullshit!" With that she stormed out of his house.

"Shit, wait Petra!" This was last resort. He hadn't first thought of calling his girlfriend in the middle of the night. He had tried calling Erd, Gunther, Auruo, even tried recruiting his little sister, Mikasa, but they all declined. Levi ran after her but by the time he reached the door, he could hear her driving away.

As Levi saw the piles of cookies he needed to get rid of, not to mention he needed to rebake all of them, only one word could come to his mind.

"Fuck."


	13. Equals/Companions

Cadet Ral and Captain Levi. Those two were the perfect example for a squad. Petra was fiercely loyal to Levi, just as Levi was to her. He led and she followed. This is how a subordinate and superior acted. Professionalism, duty, devotion and teamwork combined.

At least, that's what most thought. No one knew of the wistful stares, the hidden kisses, or the secret meetings. Levi knew sure as hell this was inappropriate, but she had just kinda snuck into his life. Petra Ral was a woman who knew what she wanted, and she made it clear she wanted him. And though he tried to deny it, Levi wanted her too. That's how they ended up in his bedroom, late one night.

Levi was filling out paperwork. Or he was trying to. It was hard to concentrate with Petra in his lap, playing with the strands of his hair. He didn't know how they got in this position, but it seemed neither were willing to change it.

Levi sighed. "Petra, I'm trying to do work." She looked away from the few strands she was braiding.

"Oh do you want me to move?"

"Yes." Petra just grinned and turned back to her work.

"Ok, in a little while." Levi rolled his eyes.

"Usually, a cadet immediately obeys the orders of her captain." Petra let out a snort.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh just you thinking the squad obeys you mindlessly." She turned to face him.

"You may be my captain, but you're human just like us and can make bad decisions. Remember when you approached Eren during the spoon incident?"

"Pfft, there was nothing dangerous-"

"Regardless, it was a stupid idea." Petra gave him a sweet smile. "We'll recognize you have made a decision, but if it's a stupid-ass decision, we'll elect to ignore it."

Levi couldn't believe how sassy Petra was being. "I thought you trusted me?"

"I do, and I'm still a soldier, I'll follow you into hell, but I'll be there to keep you from getting lost and going the wrong way."

Levi gave a rare smile. Most people saw Petra for her kindness, but she was so much more than that. She was blinding smiles and deadly glares, loud opinions she made known to the entire world and gentle touches. She was loyal, but she was fiercely independent, and he couldn't think of anyone else he'd prefer to spend the rest of his days with.

"How about for this next mission we go as equals then, instead of captain and cadet?"

"You don't mean?" Hazel eyes glowed as she saw him slip a golden band on her ring finger. A huge smile spread across her face.

"I said I'd follow you into hell for the 57th expedition, but it looks like I'll do that in a white dress this time."

 


	14. Lies

Lying comes second nature to him. All his life he's been telling them. "No, I didn't see anything, pleasure to meet you, her death was not in vain." Sometimes he couldn't even tell what was even truth or fiction anymore.

He always thought Petra was the opposite. No matter what, she would could never force her mouth to sprout a lie. "Captain, we need to go, Auruo your coffee tastes like shit, Ma'am I'm sorry for your loss." That was just her nature. She couldn't hide who she was.

Eventually she got better. It came with the consequences of having a secret relationship. "Sorry I'm late, overslept, I got to deliver papers for the Captain, like I would do that." It amazed him how she was able to keep a straight face. The girl who had come to him unable to hide a thing could now look him dead in the eye and sprout utter bullshit. He supposed it's his fault. But he's too greedy to consider giving Petra up now.

At least that's how she was before the 57th expedition. The loss of the squad took every trace of the Petra he once knew. "I'm sorry, I'm fine, it's ok." She's a hollow shell of the person she once was, barely speaking, barely eating. Nothing but an empty doll in her likeness.

One night she comes to his bed again. It seems strange, she hasn't forgiven him for the deaths of the squad yet. But he's not one to complain. With vigor, he kisses her, trying to forget everything but the taste of her lips.

Once they break apart, Petra laughs for the first time since the expedition. It's not the carefree one he's longed to hear, but desperate and almost insane.

"What the fuck's so hilarious?" It comes out harsher than expected, but he's just so sick of everything,

"I don't love you, Levi," Petra laughs. "At least not anymore." For a second, he hopes she's lying, just as she has before. But he finds no trace of deceit in her empty smile. The only thing that hasn't changed is she's a terrible liar.

But then he realizes something. He doesn't love her either. He could never love this thing she's become. Instead of saying anything, he cuts her laughter off with a kiss and grips her tighter than before. They may not love each other anymore, but he doesn't know what else to do.


	15. Vows

From this day forward I promise you these things."

_He's had those words memorized for weeks now. His tongue would fumble as he tried to sound out the strange scribbles. Levi's pride had always kept him from asking for help, determined to learn these vows on his own._

"I will laugh with you in times of joy and comfort you in times of sorrow."

_Despite the fact laughing felt impossible sometimes. With her he could laugh the rest of his life away._

_But comforting was hard for him. She had nightmares, just like him, but it was Petra who would reach out and wipe the sweat from his brow, murmuring it was just a dream. She was the stronger of the duo, yet he'd still strive to be strong for her._

"I will share in your dreams, and support you as you strive to achieve your goals."

_That was also hard, because while she dreamed of a free world devoid of titans, he dreamed of a peaceful life lacking death's constant presence. He used to dream of escaping his cage, but that was when Levi was young and hopeful. Now he wouldn't mind a cage as long as it was beautiful and safe._

_But Petra hadn't lost hope, she wouldn't be happy with that._

_"I love children," She had whispered to him one night. "But I couldn't bare to bring one into a world like this. Not til they wouldn't have to live in fear." So he'd break his cage to be with her. So that one day their dreams could both come true._

"I will listen to you with compassion and understanding,"

_He knew her fears. How when mad, her words repeated in a loop as she tried to push them out. How she still tried to hide the slight accent that colored her words. When she slipped, he'd ignore her flushed face and act like nothing went wrong._

"and speak to you with encouragement."

_He was never good with words, never will be, that was Petra's forte. Yet he'd try to reassure her when the doubts seemed suffocating. Maybe all he'd be able to do would be to pat her on a the back, but still it was better than nothing._

"I will help you when you need it, and step aside when you don't."

_Petra was strong like he said earlier, but also a bit stubborn. It could be like pulling teeth to get her to admit she needed help. But Levi trusted her. He knew if she really didn't need help and would let her fly._

"I will remain faithful to you for better or worse, in times of sickness and health."

_Nothing would make him leave her side. Let Heaven and Hell try as much as they want._

"You are my best friend and I will love and respect you always." After those words were said, Levi pulled her in for a kiss.

"You were supposed to wait til things were finished, idiot." Petra laughed as she played with his black hair.

"Doesn't matter," Levi smiled. The world could end for all he cared because right now everything was as perfect as it could be


	16. First Aid

Dazed, Petra blinked as she tried to recognize the blurry shapes that filled her vision. Slowly, she groaned at the dull pain ringing around her head.

Eventually she worked up enough strength to look around her surroundings. There was white, lots of blinding white. And the smell of medicines and anesthetic lingered in the air. But then she turned to her left and found the Captain pulled up in a chair.

She would have said something, but Petra noticed he was asleep. She noted the bags under his eyes seemed darker than usual. And he was still in that sweaty uniform from the last expedition.

Last expedition? How long had she been out of it?

Carefully, she leaned over, trying not to curse at the pain that shot through her body. As she brushed a few strands of hair out of his eyes she realized he looked so much younger while asleep. While he aged better than most people, stress always painted his features. Now he almost looked peaceful.

"Ugh," A low groan came from him, and Petra quickly retreated back to her bed. Once she was back in place, she wondered why she was so embarrassed over doing that.

_Because you were being super weird, Petra. Seriously, you don't just get all up in someone's face._

As the Captain started to stir, Petra shifted around, unsure what to do, til deciding to just relax. He gave a long yawn and slowly, silver eyes opened to meet hazel.

"Morning Ral," Another yawn as he stretched his arms some.

"Good morning, Captain." She drew small circles in her sheets, unsure what to say. A pregnant pause hung over both of them, neither one really acknowledging the others' presence. Petra was thinking she should just go back asleep at this point and put an end to the awkwardness.

Just then, the Captain started to sigh. "You're looking at me like I just grew a second head, what is it?"

"My memory's a little fuzzy, sir." She ran a hand through her hair before wincing at all the tangles her hand caught.

"Oh," The Captain looked off to the side. "Auruo got snatched up by a titan, but you got him out. Still both you guys when flying into the side of a building. Erd managed to stop the titan before it got ya'll, but you were still banged up." At that, it all came back to her. Then she hadn't been thinking far ahead, just that she needed to act before it was too late.

"Are they alright?"

"Yeah. Auruo woke up yesterday and Gunther sprained his ankle, but that's it injuries-wise."

"Good." Petra breathed a sigh of relief. She would have been content to got to sleep after that, but then a lingering question came to her. "How long was I out?"

"Three days."

"Then why are you still filthy?" The Captain froze at that, a flush creeping up his neck.

"Things have been crazy. You three have been stuck her, I've been buried in paperwork, gotten even less sleep lately-"

"Yet you still tried to stay up to watch over your soldier." Petra couldn't help but let a small smile flirt across her face.

"Uh-" Any excuse he had was cut off by the entrance of a stony-faced nurse. She rattled off the details of Petra's condition before rambling some about self-care. By the time she was done, Petra had forgotten the Captain was even in the room.

She was about to drift to sleep when suddenly, the Captain's voice brought her back.

"I hope you get better soon," He squeezed her shoulder ever so lightly, spreading warmth to the rest of her body. He was about to leave when Petra finally replied,

"Thank you, Levi." He froze again, this time in mid-step. "Is it alright to use your name, sir?" He gave a stiff nod in reply and then practically took off from her room.

It still hurt a bit, but Petra couldn't help but laugh.


	17. Crossover

Petra finds the girl in the barracks. She's a strange thing dressed all in black and passed out. When she goes to examine her more closely she learns she has hair the same shade as her clothing, cut in a jagged, short manner.

She wastes no time getting the poor thing in a bed. Immediately Petra goes to work and gathers medical supplies from Hanji to take care of her. After thanking them, she gets tea from Gunther, some flowers from Erd, and some blankets from Auruo. She must turn a few heads with her odd requests, but Petra doesn't have the time nor want to care. All she knows is someone is hurt and she wants to help.

A few hours later the girl awakes, sharp blue eyes blinking and confused.

"Where am I?" She asks in a quiet voice as she surveys her surroundings.

"Survey Corps quarters," Petra clears her throat as she approaches the girl. "I found you passed out in the barracks. What made you think covering ever inch of your skin in black was a good idea?"

The girl noticeably blushes at this and Petra regrets making her uncomfortable.

"It's our uniform m'am," She remains focused on the sheets instead of Petra's face. "Sorry for troubling you."

"Don't apologize, I just don't like seeing kids hurt themselves." She's young, looks around Eren's age. The part of needing a uniform troubles her, Petra hasn't ever seen clothing like that, but she decides not to dwell on it too long.

"By the way, you have a name?"

"Xion," The syllables are foreign to her ears, and Petra can't help but note either she doesn't have a last name, or decided not to mention it.

"I'm Private Ral, but just call me Petra, honey," She locks away those troubling thoughts. "I'm glad you're ok."

"That's a joke," Xion mutters.

"What do you mean?"

"You heard me?"

"Of course I did, I'm right next to you," Petra can't help but laugh at her surprise.

"Oh, I guess I'm used to people ignoring me. Everyone besides my friends do."

"They sound like good people."

"Better friends than I deserve," Xion brings a gloved hand up to eye and wipes it. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be talking about personal problems with a stranger."

"Why not?" Petra forces her to look at her in the eye. "You'll never see me again after this. Just vent, I'll listen."

"There are a lot of people hurting," Blue eyes grow somber. "They're hurting because of me, and I can fix it, but I might die in the process," She looks back down. "The thing is I'm selfish. I don't want to lose my friends or the memories of our time together, but I'm hurting even more people in the process!"

Petra can't hide her shock at the gravity of the situation. She was too young to be have such a burden to care.

"I don't know what to tell you Xi," Petra sighs. "There's the greater good, but no one can demand someone to forfeit their life. Sacrifice is a choice. Weigh your options and then when the time trust your gut."

"You act like it's so simple."

"I know it's not but sometimes," Petra was interrupted by a knock. "Who's that?" She got up and open the door to see the Captain standing with his usual tired face.

"Excuse me," She smiles gently at the younger girl before stepping outside.

"What was that?" Levi doesn't waste any time beating around the bush.

"Who," Petra corrects. "Found the girl passed out. I had to help her."

"We have an expedition tomorrow. You need to be focused."

"I couldn't leave her alone," Hazel eyes narrow. "Don't try to blame last night on me."

"I'm not saying-"

"It was a mistake we both made," She interrupts his train of thought. "We were both unfocused and gave into a moment of weakness. The best thing to is to just move on from it."

"I wasn't the one to bring it up," The Captain grumbles.

"Then don't criticize me for being a decent human being," With that she went back into Xion's room. However the girl was nowhere to be seen. When Petra got closer to the empty bed, she found only a seashell.

_Did my words help?_

It seemed she had been caught into two critical situations today. Petra just hoped she had said the right things in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not so much rivetra as Petra comforting Xion (from the video game series Kingdom Hearts she actually has the ability to visit different worlds so it kinda makes sense) but I was having trouble fitting anything else with the SNK World


	18. Ruined

It's a slow process. One that happens over days filled with sweat and blood and nights filled with clandestine secrets and forgotten names. It's like a tumor slowly growing, growing, growing silently til it becomes too big to handle.

He should have seen it coming, he who had watched his brothers fall into the same pattern over and over and over again, but Levi didn't and now he has to suffer the price for it.

Gently he plays with her copper hair. It's something to ground him in this world while the other one tries to pull him away.

She was only a traveling mage, a bright-eyed youth exploring the world for her first time. At least some of that was true. You don't capture a son of air or kill a man without hesitating unless you have experience.

She was strange indeed. She had the power to bind a son of air and keep him under her control yet marveled at the colors of the sunset. She didn't flinch when they came across a cavern slaughtered by bandits, but still cried that night in memory of people she had never met.

She must have seen horrible things, suffered so much to get to where she was today, yet hope still shone in her hazel eyes. The world had left it's mark on her, physically with scars and emotionally with nightmares she didn't know he knew about, still she wasn't jaded. She could still laugh and cry and try to live instead of just surviving.

And amid all their time together, he had fallen for her.

It wasn't just for her blinding smile or for her enchanting laugh, though he loved them dearly. But he had fallen for her dirty mouth and stubbornness. Both her kindness and ferocity and all the other contradicting traits that existed in one small body. She was motherly to children that they encountered, but also quick to anger. She wasn't an innocent fool despite what her attitude seemed to suggest, but she wasn't a battle-scarred veteran either.

That was certain. While Levi would have been content to not act on his affections, she was different.

"What is it, Levi?" She had snapped one night. "Why won't you look me in the eye anymore?" He couldn't have explained to her how his brain collapsed when he looked at her. How he dreamed of holding her and running his hands through her hair and leaving butterfly kisses down her neck.

In the end it was her who acted first. One night after a close brush with death, she had kissed him recklessly, dangerously.

"Do you want this?" She had breathed into his ear, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand. Every fiber if his being told him to say no, sons of air were supposed to only be devoted to Mother Nature. But she was overwhelming and so he answered with a quiet yes.

But now his mind is clear and he regrets his display of weakness. Levi sighs as he pulls away from her. What was he thinking? If any of his brothers found out, they'd hunt the both of them down. He should know, he had done the same whenever his brothers got too close to humans.

And yet here he is doing the same thing. He can't bear to leave her a fate like that, it'd be better if he just disappeared. So Levi gets up, leaving behind the little pocket of warmth they had made. He tries to stay strong, but he can't help but trace the side of her face one last time.

"Levi..." She says his name like it's a prayer, not a curse like it really is. He turns before he can give into weakness again. She had dropped the spell that kept him bound to her a long time ago. He can just leave and forget about her.

But as he walks away, Levi knows that is impossible.

No matter what he decided, Petra Ral has ruined him forever.


	19. Undercover

He knows none of this is real. The way she looks at him, the causal touches, all of it is an act. Still for a second Levi is having a hard time remembering.

They're waiting for Hanji to leave the goods. Security had gotten tighter than usual and Hanji warned that this time Petra and he needed to have a better disguise.

Erwin had decided a young couple would fit. Levi was Marcus Wiltshire, a struggling poet with his new wife, Cecelia Burland, a rising indie artist. Two who cared more about love and passion than all the money or fame in the world.

How ironic they were waiting to receive cash from the latest money laundering scam.

And he should be focusing on the mission but right now Petra Ral was being so fucking irritating.

With her right hand, her fingers danced up and down his leg, as if she was playing the piano. Levi was supposed to be ignoring it as he scribbled down a haiku, but it was a challenge to say the least.

All weekend long, the copper-headed girl had been teasing him: absentmindedly playing with his hair, using his shoulder as a pillow, whispering scandalous ideas into his ear. He supposed it was to 'be in character', but he saw the mischievous glint in her eyes. She was toying with him, and she enjoyed every minute of it.

It was nothing new. The tension between them had been so explicit, Levi was sure people were betting on when they'd bang. That's why he was positive Erwin was laughing his ass somewhere in the distance. He knew this would torment him in the worst way.

Levi may be a criminal, but he had standards. And his standards involved keeping his sex life separated from work and not mixing with woman 10 years younger than him.

Yet Petra was making it very, very hard.

"Stop," He grabs her fidgeting hand, and she looks up with the most innocent expression as she takes out an earbud. "Too distracting Cece."

"Sorry, dear," Her smile could grow flowers, but knowing Petra, it was more likely she was grinning as she watched them burn. "Just a bit antsy,"

"Well be patient."

"Alright."

Silence comes again, and Levi is thankful for it. Hanji would never let him live it down if he missed them because of a lover's quarrel.

But just as he gets used to it, Petra swings her legs over onto his lap. She seems only focused on her cheap MP3 player, but Levi swears if this wasn't a mission it might be considered sexual harassment.

Well two can play at that game. He decides she's done enough teasing, now it's his turn. As subtle as he can be (they are in public) he slides a hand up her dress. He doesn't go far, just a little above her knee, but Petra doesn't waste anytime to gasp and slap away his hand.

"No," She hisses, and Levi almost laughs at the hypocrisy.

"That's not fair."

"Well you can't be acting like that now," She acts as if she's having to spell it out for him.

"Will later do then?" He glances down to look at her, not quite sure how much of him is acting. "Tonight works for me."

She opens her mouth to reply, but suddenly he spots Hanji out of the corner of his eye.

Flirting is forgotten as they focus on the task at hand, but Levi can't help but think tonight he might share a bed with Petra again.


	20. Modern

They lay together holding each other in their arms, still wide awake. Petra wipes the sweat off Levi's brow and can't help but grin like an idiot at him.

"How was it for your first time?"

"What do you mean?" Levi looks confused but she can see she's correct.

"Come on L, I'm a modern gal, you don't have to try to prove some meaningless social expectation."

"I didn't think I was being so obvious," Levi sighed.

"You kinda were, but it's alright." Petra kissed the side of his head. "I've had worst."

"Like what?"

"Seattle, Spring Break."

"Why would you go there for Spring Break?"

"Shut up!" Petra lightly nudges him. "I was visiting family but went out clubbing one night and met this cute Mongolian girl. Things were getting sexy, but we were both kinda wasted and it just ended in a mess." Petra shudders as she remembers then.

"You know I don't think I could do something like that." He pinches and twists a strand of her hair absentmindedly. "Like having sex with a stranger just feels eh."

"Oh is it like you feel better if you know them?"

"It's not that," Levi shakes his head. "I've just never really been that interested. Like when I was young, some guys talked about it all the time but I just never saw the big deal. Some days I wondered if I was broken." After saying that, he winces as if regretting his words. "That's not saying I didn't want-"

"I get it, don't worry," Petra smiles as she grips him harder. "Say L, do you think your somewhere on the ace spectrum then?"

"Ace spectrum?"

"You've never heard of it?"

Levi shakes his head, and she feels bad that he might have been worrying over nothing.

"Well, one sexual orientation is asexuality: the lack of sexual attraction, but some people describe as being somewhere in the middle. They might only feel it certain times or after certain things."

"Sounds complicated."

"It kinda is," Petra laughs in reply.

"It doesn't really matter to me," Levi yawns as he moves to rest his head on her chest. "I know I love you that's enough for me." He freezes up when he realizes what he's said.

"I love you too, L." Petra kisses his brow, hoping to lead him out of his daze. "Let's get some rest."

"That sounds good."

And so the couple saves hard questions for another night.


	21. Wish

One of Petra's first memories was of a story her mother told her.

"Once upon a time," She had began as many stories tend to do. "The sky fell in love with the earth. They loved each other more than anything else had ever loved before. However they could never touch each other.

And so the sky fell into despair at the futility of his love, and rain was formed. The earth tried to use the sky's tears to grow trees to reach him, but that failed. And the earth gave the sky many gifts such as birds and bugs, but they still would not reach him. The sky's sorrow turned to anger, and he threw a flash of lightning down to her, but that only caused the earth to cry out in pain.

Horrified at his actions, the sky hid from his lover and grew dark and cold. A star saw this sad affair and knew it couldn't leave its father like this. So it fell to the earth to fulfill its father's wishes."

It was awfully dark for a young child, but Petra hadn't noticed. Not til she was an adult and starring at a starry sky after another failed expedition.

A shooting sky fell before her, and memories of mother and her mystic tales came back to her.  Back then she had believed in dreams and stars that could make any wish true.  It was foolish to hold onto childish beliefs like that but maybe...

An image of a dark man with piercing silver eyes filled her mind. He had been taller than her, but still short, smiled rarely but he was so handsome when he did, and his lips...

Petra felt guilty for wanting something so trivial, if stars really could grant wishes, it'd be noble to wish for the titans to be gone, or for an expedition to finally go right, or anything besides one forgotten soldier.

_Doesn't lessen the hurt_

She missed him. It wasn't just the fact he was gone but also how her life seemed completely broken now. Sleep was impossible, not just because she didn't have his even breathing, but because whenever she closed her eyes she saw his corpse.

Her tea seemed to never be just right, she always made too much, still thinking she needed to pour a cup for another person.

And don't even talk about the quiet hallways now that it was just her and Eren.

Someone knocked on the side of of her doorway and Petra turned to see Hanji lazing around, trying to act unfazed.

"Got a minute?" They sighed.

"Sure," She gestured to the empty space beside her. So they stayed together in silence, neither saying a word. Both knew the other had lost a lot, and words weren't needed to express apologies.

"I miss him Hanji," Petra finally spoke. "I miss him so, so much."

"We all do," They cleaned their glasses. "It's rough but we have to stay strong for the kids. It's what he would do."

"I know, I know but I'm not him," She played with a strand of her hair. "If it had been me then he would move on quickly and stay focused, but I'm not him," Petra sighed this time. "So can you just give me some time to grieve?"

Hanji opened their mouth to say something, but shut it again. "I'll try to," They gave her a pat on the back before leaving. "Rest well, Captain Ral."

"You too Commander Zoe."


	22. Video Games

Love is kind. Love is patient. Love is million other things according to that quote middle-aged wives kept mentioning when he first married Petra. Levi never paid to much attention to it, but he was sure throwing a blue shell right before he crossed the finish line wasn't love.

"What the hell was that?" He turned to face her, silver eyes glowing dangerously.

"Me kicking your ass!" She grinned like the Cheshire Cat. "Now don't look at me like that, I was just playing the game."

It was stupid, but he wanted to throw his controller at her smug face.

"Well I'm beat," Petra yawned. "I think I'll call it a night."

"What? No way, we need a redo."

"But it's already, 2:00 AM," She pointed to the glowing clock beside him.

"It's one race, come on," Levi tried not to sound too desperate.

"Hmm, knowing me I'll still destroy you. Mario Kart is my game," He opened his mouth to reply, but Petra interrupted him. "And knowing you, you won't won't be content to just do one race. So how about we make things interesting~"

"What do you have planned?"

* * *

Two hours later, Levi found himself sitting only in his boxers while Petra cackled like a madwoman.

To be fair Petra was half-naked as well, but she must have fucking planned it, 'cause she had been wearing multiple layers.

"Ready to call it quits?" She smiled sweetly.

"If you were trying to embarrass me, I think you forgot we've seen each other naked multiple times," He muttered to himself.

"Naw, I was mainly targeting your pride, the stripping part was just a bonus," She climbed into his lap and rested her head in the crook of his neck. "Tired yet?"

"I still want to destroy you some more in Mario Kart," He yawned as he unconsciously ran a hand through her hair.

"Tomorrow," Petra groaned. "It's not like you didn't beat me a few times."

Levi wanted to object, but sleep was starting to sound beautiful.

"I guess I can wait til tomorrow."

"Good." And the couple finally collapsed for the next ten hours.


	23. Runaways

He wasn't meant for this life. He might have accepted the fact later, but that doesn't changed the fact he was dragged kicking and screaming into a 3DMG harness. It doesn't define his life in the Survey Corps, but whenever he sees Petra, he becomes painfully aware of that fact. He starts acting stupid, thinking they could have a life outside from this. He sees little children and cottages far away from both humans and titans. It is idiotic. He never was one for unrealistic idealism, yet he can't help but become endeared to the idea. It lives on in the back of his mind throughout the years, slowly growing with each day.

He is ready to burst when Petra asks him about running out of the blue on the night before an expedition. His first reaction is let it all break out from the deepest darkest recesses of his mind, to ramble on about how we wants to grow old and get to live a life where he might be able to be happy. But his tongue knows better so he only drawls out, "That's traitor talk."

"I can't help it," Petra sighs. "I can't help but imagine everyone has thought of it before."

"Deserting equal death. If the titans don't get you, they'll hunt you down instead."

"Why does it have to be that way though?" Hazel eyes bore right into his soul. "I made my decision to dedicate my life to humanity. I'm not wavering in the slightest..." She toys with their sheets, boldness fading into timidity. "I just sometimes wonder 'what if?' and all. Haven't you ever done that before?"

"Of course not," He lies. "I don't have time for regrets."

She must have thought herself to be clever. In the end, she became his biggest what if to wonder about while he grows old alone in his cottage he built after everything was said and done.


	24. Empheral

Humans are not meant long for this world. It is so easy to erase them from existence, so easy for all their life's achievements to be blown away with out a second thought and gone with the wind. Even their castle can fall, eventually fading into ashes and dust just like everything else.

Levi supposes that was their appeal in the cosmic scheme of things, but he has to call bullshit on the notion. It could never match the beauty of something that could stand the test of time.

To be more accurate, he should say "who" instead. For Petra lives up to every standard her name holds for her. No matter the situation she is a rock, steady and firm. Despite her kind and caring attitude, she never wavers in her mission. Her emotions don't hinder her, but fuel her to seek justice. She is ferocious when needed, but remains soft in a world that demands hearts be hardened. He is in awe of her to say the least. Combine this with the fact that by some holy grace she returned his affections? He can't help but believe she will endure forever. It is foolish, but some believe in an almighty god, he simply believes in her more.

He is not blind to that fact that Petra is painfully human. But that makes her all the more unbreakable in his eyes. She stumbles and falls, but gets back up every time. She bleeds like everyone else but grits her teeth and accomplish the impossible so that no one has to die today. She sleeps in and has to run around like a chicken with her head cut off in the mornings. She snores and hog covers and hums sweet melodies while she sweeps and gets angry over little things and gossips and curses and drinks with the rest of the squad and does a million other things that don't match up to the "pure" image he has seen others try to place on her. She is a star, living her life to the fullest and burning as brightly as possible.

But despite his delusions, Petra eventually burns out. Those hazel eyes dim and never light up again. Her skin grows cold and her chest fails to ever rise again. Her corpse is abandoned for the titans and so her grave marking sits upon and empty plot of land.

There is pain for the first few years after her death. Levi can barely look her father in the eye. he can barely look back on old memories of the times they were happy. But when life finally slows down for him and he is able to grieve properly, he finally realizes something.

She may be gone, but she lives on in the hearts of all her loved ones. And that is not counting the lives she saved or even the little meetings in her existence that she didn't even remember. She left her mark on the world, and it can  _never_  be erased.

So he learns to be able to go through her old items the next of kin didn't want. He visits her father and tries not to be as socially awkward as he usually is around strangers.

Petra can live on forever, he just needs to not let her physical death stop her.


	25. Criminal

She can taste the familiar copper twang of blood in her mouth. However out of all the pain she is feeling, that is the most insignificant. Her left ankle is twisted and the gash in her side feels like it is about to reopen again. Still Petra can ignore all that pain if it means freedom is close.

However, freedom seems faraway in this interrogation room with a man that wants her dead.

"Petra Ral, 24 years old and leader of the Southern Rebels," Silver eyes read over a file as thick as a brick. "At this point it would be easier to name what crimes you haven't committed against the empire."

"How about you tell me something I don't know?" Her brain screams that this is not the time for sass, but she doesn't regret her sharp tongue.

"That was supposed to be my line," He drawls as he runs a hand through black, inky hair. "You're smart and realize things won't last a year longer now that we've raided your main base, don't you?"

"Bite my ass."

"This information isn't useful to anyone, but you'll still get off with exile in the Northern Lands."

"Eat shit."

"Really mature. Never would have guessed this girl was the bane of our existence."

"I'll stop cursing when you stop this bullshit." Petra glared, hazel eyes burning brightly. "You said so yourself, I'm smart enough to outwit any of your generals. So don't treat me like a stupid teenager."

He flinched at those words for some reason. It wasn't obvious, but her words had affected him.

"If that's the case, then I'll guess I'll treat you like an adult," His voice audibly darken, sending chills down her spine. "Are you willing to give up exile for torture? We can make every breath of yours feel like fire, every step will feel like swords being driven into your feet, you will drown in thin air. Or maybe we should make you watch you mother die over and over again?"

His last threat made her gasp. She had  _never_  told anyone but Auruo about how that memory haunted her. He had died in action a two years ago, but they had recovered his body. How did an Imperial Soldier know?

_Not important. Focus, Petra._

This stranger didn't seem to realize the impact of his words. It was a lucky guess. So she steeled herself, took a deep breath, and brought out the big guns.

"Don't act like you'll torture me. Torture takes time and for what? The useless information you mentioned before? Bullshit. You'll want to get my execution over with so there's not even the slightly chance of me being rescued," She looks up to stare the man in the eye. "I told you to stop treating me like a stupid teenager, and this is no better."

"You really are as clever as they say," Instead of being upset he seemed  _interested_  of all things. "The Fox of the South can't be fooled. No wonder you gained so many followers. A pretty face that has a pretty brain as well. People will rally around a figurehead like that."

"If you can see this, than can't you see why I wanted to make a change?" She adopts her leader voice, the one she uses for speeches and for discussing plans. "This is not the Empire my grandfather laid down his life for." Something in her ached for him to understand. Ever since she had been shoved into this room, she had shared a strange kinship with him, like a feeling of familiarity. And despite everything she was sure he felt it too. It wasn't the fact he was a potential way out, Petra felt that she  _needed_ him to agree with her very being.

The man blinks few times, studying her features. He licks his lips and replies, "You will be hanged at dawn tomorrow. There you go. No bullshit anymore."

Petra felt worse than she had during her failed escape that ended into hitting a tree.

"I see."

And before she could think of anything else to say, she was shuffled down to a cell room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I like the concept of reincarnation and soulmates, I feel like they would go through many different roles throughout their lives. Lovers, friends, and yes even enemies. Gives a certain bittersweet taste to two strangers feeling something but in the end not acting on it


	26. Dance

He's surprised to see her dolled up like this. Of course seeing her in a dress at all is surprising, Petra was always the practical type. Still not only does the jade of her dress make her hazel eyes _glow_  like nothing else, but her strawberry blonde hair falls down in loose waves instead of being tied up in a utilitarian braid like it usually is. Levi's always thought of her as beautiful, yet today she has topped any of his wildest dreams.

"Come on do I look so horrid without my armor?" Petra teased as she turned to face him.

"Wouldn't say that..." He would say a lot of other things, but none of them are appropriate when it comes his personal knight.

"Well I gotta say His Highness is looking mighty fine," She gave a teasing grin as she wiped off some dust off his shoulders. Such an action was normal from his best friend since childhood, but he has become stupid and stopped seeing her as just his best friend. He had a country to run in a few years, and a marriage alliance to secure in the next few hours, yet he still found himself thinking of kissing her like an idiot.

"Any country you got your eye on?" She leaned back as she played with the folds of her dress. "Agyla's princess looks very pretty."

"Eh I, I'm looking for a good match for my kingdom, not a love match."

"So it's ok if I take her off your hands?" She smiled flirtatiously and he felt his heart do a back-flip. He himself wasn't on board with getting engaged so quickly, but she was making this even more difficult.

_Where did the days where we were running around with wooden swords and hunting frogs go?_

"Still you have two left feet outside of swordwork," Levi snarked back.

"I'm sure my charming personality and sparkling wit would win her over from any other suitor." She laughed, but it fell flat in the end. "I just can't believe when we grew up."

"I second that," Levi sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "You're not the little girl running around and declaring you'll protect me from anything." He couldn't help but let smirk at the memory of when they first met, when she was five and he was six. So young but they were both already caught up in their duties. Now their duties tie them back.

He couldn't be sure she returns his feelings. Every time he dared to hope such a thing, she tended to say another thing that contradicted the idea. Still he though she sensed the potential they had for each other. Maybe it comes with being young and stupid, but he wished sometimes he could be a normal servant or something. Not only would he not have to deal with all the pressing issues he knows they expect him to solve just like that, but he'd feel less guilty for doing something so risky like falling in love.

"Hey, who are you saving your first dance for?" Petra brought him back down to earth. Hazel eyes tried to remain detached, but she couldn't hide her curiosity.

"I haven't given it much thought."

"What?! You're being introduced into high society. It will be your first dance as a gentleman and prince, could you at least act like you care?"

"Well then how about we dance now?" He is just as shocked at his words, and if it wasn't for her hasty reply, he would have written the entire thing off as a joke.

"Don't I have two-left feet?"

"I thought your charm and sparkling wit made up for it," At this point his mouth was moving on its own.

"Even so, I'm just some girl with a sword who can't learn to shut her mouth," It is surreal seeing her so insecure. She was always confidant and blinding, a ray of sunlight burning as bright as can be. She was caring and tenderhearted, but hot-tempered and disobedient at times, both fragile and ferocious.

"This is gonna all end soon," He sighed as he looked around his quarters. Once they walked out of that door, he was a man, and to be alone with a maiden like Petra was scandalous. She would stay his knight, but their relationship would change. Even if his feelings had never shifted from the platonic, he still would be disappointed by the fact. "Why not make it last as long as possible?"

"Fine," Petra gave a long curtsy. "If his Highness insists," However her eyes shone too brightly for someone forced. Without waiting, Levi took her hand in his, but to his surprise as he did she brought her lips to their intertwined hands. That did it. At the mere feeling on her lips against his hand, Levi's ears turned bright red.

"Looks who the maiden now?" Petra teased, returning Levi to his stoic expression.

Still once they took off, he forgot everything else in the world except her.


	27. Broken

The military life leaves them shattered into a million pieces. They are china dolls in the hands of children, so it makes sense that they end up with a fair share of cracks. But what really lets those hairline fractures grow worse, is because they are expected to hide them from the rest of the world. They have to pretend to still be the pretty porcelain they just aren't, and eventually the act becomes so overwhelming they break.

It's why the survivors band together as if that's all they have in this world. They are the people who pick up the pieces one by one and try to fit them together once more. The glue each other back together when no one else is looking and hope that it will be enough to last the night.

Some of them are more visible with their injuries. Petra hasn't walked a single step in years, no longer does she wield blades and fly like a bird. As the world falls apart, she stays at home with her pension, grief still raw and tender.

Meanwhile Levi's body remains untouched while his mind remains only a problem away from breaking completely. He never wanted this life. He never wanted to be in charge of saving humanity. Death knew him too well back in the underground, but now he is trapped with the rest of the survivors in this game of Russian roulette. One of these days he is gonna bite the bullet but it has become harder and harder to dread such a fate as that.

Still even at their worst, there is always someone else to lend a helping hand.

Levi visits her in the middle of the night. They talk of nothing about the soft kisses and fingers tangled through each others hair. He proposes a way to keep her involved in the military and Petra decides right away that she will not let her now useless legs stop her.

A few weeks later, he finally opens up to her again, and they talk and talk about everything til he is finally able to sleep peacefully.

She no longer wears a pair of wings on her back, but Petra proves to be useful in passing along secret messages and surveillance. She commands the respect of everyone and make sure they do not deny the fact she was and still is a powerful soldier.

He slowly but surely comes to accept the deaths of his brothers and sisters in arms. He gives them rest and make sure their sacrifices were not in vain. He remembers but tries to keep the past from haunting him. There is a future in these kids, and he will fight to protect it.

When everything is said and done, he goes back to the little house Petra calls home, and together they sit and watch the sunset. She is curled up in his lap with her head resting in the crook of his neck, while he holds her as if he'll never let her go. They are different people than the two that first met all those years ago. They have both changed, and even with the killing at its end, it still might be impossible for them to be together like used to be.

But that doesn't matter at all. No words are exchanged because they simply aren't needed. For now, this is enough.

Instead of breaking, they pulled each other back together.


End file.
